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Confessions of a Glitterholic!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Home Sweet Home
A friend of mine made a very interesting blog post today discussing where she feels at home at. The place she feels the most comfortable and like she belongs. It got me to wondering "Where do I feel the most at home at?"
For me it's complicated where I feel the most at home at. As a Navy Wife I feel it my duty to have shallow roots and be able to uproot and replant where ever the Navy sends us and make that my home. I've lived that mentality for a while now and that has made it kind of difficult to choose just 1 spot I feel like is my home.
I grew up in the midlands area of South Carolina just outside of Columbia on Lake Murray. It's the only place I lived before I met my now husband. My family however isn't from there. My maternal grandmothers family is from the Baltimore region of MD. My maternal grandfathers family is from Eastern TN just an hour outside of Knoxville in the mountains. I always felt like a piece of my heart belonged in TN as we often visited there for family reunions and harvest time for my Uncle's hay fields. We often visited Charleston SC too though and I always felt a great attraction there. Even more so now as it's where I met and fell in love with my amazing husband.
The Battery in Charleston SC overlooking the harbor is one place I always felt at home at. It's a combination of things that sets my soul at peace there. The smell of the water, the feel of the breeze and mist on my face, the sound of kids playing in the park and the leaves rustling, the feel of the ground firmly beneath my shoes unshifting, the smiles of the people as they pass by, the feeling of warmth and happiness that washes over me as all of these things meld together and my mind drifts away. It's the most peaceful feeling. Yet, it's not the most peaceful place. There's a park just on the other side of the walk, homes and apartment buildings towering behind the park, cars driving over the cobblestone street, people walking their dogs and out for an afternoon jog. It's quite a bustling little area yet all at the same time it brings me peace. It calms my soul and speaks to my heart. I know it sounds crazy, but it's as if the ocean and trees are wind are talking to me all at once telling me to let go of whatever is on my mind and just focus on the present. It's literally heaven on Earth.
It's not the only place I've ever felt such a deep connection to though. My family has a cabin on lots of ackerage located in the mountains of Eastern TN. It's not a big cabin. A 1 bedroom with a loft to be precise. Tiny and quaint. Quiet and secluded. The only thing to see for miles are cows, hay fields, the mountains, and a small quaint white church with a graveyard beside it that's located on family land. Everything within eye distance is Lowery land. The church was built and donated by my Grandfather's grandfather. The cemetary houses about 90% of my relatives. The select few that are burried there and not related by blood were long time family friends. There's a story that goes with every person burried there. Stories of love, courage, honor, commitment, and faith. Some were injured in wars and faught valiently and died years later. Others loved so deeply and gave their lives to bring forth a child. The stores are just amazing. As if the history behind each of the people there isn't enough to make my heart swell with pride and bring tears to my eyes the view surely is. When I sit down in one of the chairs on the porch of the cabin it's like being warped back to a time when life was much simpler. There's no Cable, no cell phone service, no internet, no video games, not even a home telephone. Just an old TV set that hasn't been turned on in years, an even older radio, and the sound of mother nature. The breeze blowing through the windows and across the porch, the trees swaying in the breeze, the cicadas chirping in the distance. It's isn't rare to see a Doe and her fawn out grazing in one of the pastures. Depending on the time of year there may be cattle in the fields behind the cabin and to the side. Even the cows don't bother me. There slow grazing and just basic lazy nature brings me back to a time much easier. My quieter and calmer. It's the best place to be left alone with your thoughts.
The burning question is though, which place do I feel more at home at? Which place do I feel I belong the most. I honestly am not sure. I don't think I could ever choose one over the other. Each have such a hold on my heart and soul that I don't believe I could let go of one or the other. So for that, I will always be a wanderer. Passing between the 2 to get my fill of what each one does best for me.
If you'd like to read my friends post on where she considers home please check it out: Where is Home
For me it's complicated where I feel the most at home at. As a Navy Wife I feel it my duty to have shallow roots and be able to uproot and replant where ever the Navy sends us and make that my home. I've lived that mentality for a while now and that has made it kind of difficult to choose just 1 spot I feel like is my home.
I grew up in the midlands area of South Carolina just outside of Columbia on Lake Murray. It's the only place I lived before I met my now husband. My family however isn't from there. My maternal grandmothers family is from the Baltimore region of MD. My maternal grandfathers family is from Eastern TN just an hour outside of Knoxville in the mountains. I always felt like a piece of my heart belonged in TN as we often visited there for family reunions and harvest time for my Uncle's hay fields. We often visited Charleston SC too though and I always felt a great attraction there. Even more so now as it's where I met and fell in love with my amazing husband.
The Battery in Charleston SC overlooking the harbor is one place I always felt at home at. It's a combination of things that sets my soul at peace there. The smell of the water, the feel of the breeze and mist on my face, the sound of kids playing in the park and the leaves rustling, the feel of the ground firmly beneath my shoes unshifting, the smiles of the people as they pass by, the feeling of warmth and happiness that washes over me as all of these things meld together and my mind drifts away. It's the most peaceful feeling. Yet, it's not the most peaceful place. There's a park just on the other side of the walk, homes and apartment buildings towering behind the park, cars driving over the cobblestone street, people walking their dogs and out for an afternoon jog. It's quite a bustling little area yet all at the same time it brings me peace. It calms my soul and speaks to my heart. I know it sounds crazy, but it's as if the ocean and trees are wind are talking to me all at once telling me to let go of whatever is on my mind and just focus on the present. It's literally heaven on Earth.
It's not the only place I've ever felt such a deep connection to though. My family has a cabin on lots of ackerage located in the mountains of Eastern TN. It's not a big cabin. A 1 bedroom with a loft to be precise. Tiny and quaint. Quiet and secluded. The only thing to see for miles are cows, hay fields, the mountains, and a small quaint white church with a graveyard beside it that's located on family land. Everything within eye distance is Lowery land. The church was built and donated by my Grandfather's grandfather. The cemetary houses about 90% of my relatives. The select few that are burried there and not related by blood were long time family friends. There's a story that goes with every person burried there. Stories of love, courage, honor, commitment, and faith. Some were injured in wars and faught valiently and died years later. Others loved so deeply and gave their lives to bring forth a child. The stores are just amazing. As if the history behind each of the people there isn't enough to make my heart swell with pride and bring tears to my eyes the view surely is. When I sit down in one of the chairs on the porch of the cabin it's like being warped back to a time when life was much simpler. There's no Cable, no cell phone service, no internet, no video games, not even a home telephone. Just an old TV set that hasn't been turned on in years, an even older radio, and the sound of mother nature. The breeze blowing through the windows and across the porch, the trees swaying in the breeze, the cicadas chirping in the distance. It's isn't rare to see a Doe and her fawn out grazing in one of the pastures. Depending on the time of year there may be cattle in the fields behind the cabin and to the side. Even the cows don't bother me. There slow grazing and just basic lazy nature brings me back to a time much easier. My quieter and calmer. It's the best place to be left alone with your thoughts.
The burning question is though, which place do I feel more at home at? Which place do I feel I belong the most. I honestly am not sure. I don't think I could ever choose one over the other. Each have such a hold on my heart and soul that I don't believe I could let go of one or the other. So for that, I will always be a wanderer. Passing between the 2 to get my fill of what each one does best for me.
If you'd like to read my friends post on where she considers home please check it out: Where is Home
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Random Ramblings
I haven't felt inspired to write anything with greatness in it today so today will be a random rambling sort of day. It's been so incredibly weird here weather wise. Not even 2 weeks ago it was 80's and so nice that my daughter wore shorts and a tank to the park to run around in. Today it was the normal that it's been for about a week. Rainy, cloudy, and in the 30's. Not exactly perfect outdoor weather.
We didn't let that stop us today though. We went to the outlets here in Williamsburg for a little retail therapy. We've been cooped up far too much lately so it was nice to get out of the house and do something fun. I hit up my 2 favorite stores, Gymboree and Carters. At Gymboree I found my normal amazing steal on clothes. I got a fleece zip up hoodie for a total of 3.35 with tax. Honestly, you can't even find wal-mart hoodies that cheap. It was the best deal ever. I also picked up 3 pairs of bottoms and 3 shirts today for 35 bucks. For Gymboree, that's not too bad.
In Carters I continued my amazing deal finding. I had a 20% off coupon and a 10 dollar off coupon. I got gifts for 2 friends having babies. 4 rompers and a sleeper for 1 and 2 rompers, 1 onesie, and a 2 piece outfit for the other for all of 40 bucks. Amazing deals. :) Everything was 50% off practically in the store and with my 20% off coupon it made everything I bought 70% off. Then I got 10 dollars off which was like getting the outfit for free. :) Can't beat deals like that.
After our shopping extravaganza we went and filled our bellies with Chinese in the food court. My husband is out to sea so it was just me and the Boogster doing what we do best. Chowing down on some amazing grub. For a 2yr old she has a love already for ethnic foods. She'll eat Chinese, Mexican, Indian, Spanish, Italian....you name it. I love having a child that's not a picky eater. Now if only we could get her appetite to actually make her grow a touch. teehee
We came home and Boogs went straight down for a nap. All that shopping is hard work I tell ya!! I paid all my bills today which is one of those things in life that's a catch 22. After I do it and I know all of them are paid it makes me feel so accomplished. Then when I look at how much it took from the bank account I sit and weep. Typical. At least the bills are paid and we still have money.
That's one of the joys of being military. It may suck a lot of the time and it may mean lots of lonely nights and stressful days but we always have money in the bank and our bills are paid. We always have a fridge full of food and clothes on our back. You can't complain about any of that!!! Well, I'm sure I've bored everyone to tears already with my totally random post so I shall sign off for the night. Until next time.
We didn't let that stop us today though. We went to the outlets here in Williamsburg for a little retail therapy. We've been cooped up far too much lately so it was nice to get out of the house and do something fun. I hit up my 2 favorite stores, Gymboree and Carters. At Gymboree I found my normal amazing steal on clothes. I got a fleece zip up hoodie for a total of 3.35 with tax. Honestly, you can't even find wal-mart hoodies that cheap. It was the best deal ever. I also picked up 3 pairs of bottoms and 3 shirts today for 35 bucks. For Gymboree, that's not too bad.
In Carters I continued my amazing deal finding. I had a 20% off coupon and a 10 dollar off coupon. I got gifts for 2 friends having babies. 4 rompers and a sleeper for 1 and 2 rompers, 1 onesie, and a 2 piece outfit for the other for all of 40 bucks. Amazing deals. :) Everything was 50% off practically in the store and with my 20% off coupon it made everything I bought 70% off. Then I got 10 dollars off which was like getting the outfit for free. :) Can't beat deals like that.
After our shopping extravaganza we went and filled our bellies with Chinese in the food court. My husband is out to sea so it was just me and the Boogster doing what we do best. Chowing down on some amazing grub. For a 2yr old she has a love already for ethnic foods. She'll eat Chinese, Mexican, Indian, Spanish, Italian....you name it. I love having a child that's not a picky eater. Now if only we could get her appetite to actually make her grow a touch. teehee
We came home and Boogs went straight down for a nap. All that shopping is hard work I tell ya!! I paid all my bills today which is one of those things in life that's a catch 22. After I do it and I know all of them are paid it makes me feel so accomplished. Then when I look at how much it took from the bank account I sit and weep. Typical. At least the bills are paid and we still have money.
That's one of the joys of being military. It may suck a lot of the time and it may mean lots of lonely nights and stressful days but we always have money in the bank and our bills are paid. We always have a fridge full of food and clothes on our back. You can't complain about any of that!!! Well, I'm sure I've bored everyone to tears already with my totally random post so I shall sign off for the night. Until next time.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Judgment Day
In this day and age it doesn't take looking around too much to read a news article or blog post or any media that speaks ill of the Muslim religion and it's people. It's not hard to find people who will proudly proclaim their distaste in all Muslims. To me, in this day and age of acceptance and love, I find it to be disgusting and vile. Judgement isn't something for us to do towards our fellow man. That is left to a higher power. Be it God, Sheba, Buddha, The Great One, or whatever name you call your higher power/being it is up to them to ultimately judge someone and their actions.
I want to discuss today the topic of extreme religious actions and how it effects people's judgement on a religion as a whole. We see so much extreme actions these days by people who believe greatly in their religion. Some feel that their god is telling them to picket funerals while others are saying their god is telling them to kill people. My biggest question in this post today is going to be, should we categorize everyone in a certain religion for the actions that a small group do in the name of that religion.
Right now the focus has been on the Muslim religion. The world has sat and watched as terrorist groups like Al Quida rain down death and destruction around the world. I can understand how people are angry at them. I am angry at them. They act in the name of Allah and the Muslim religion. They believe that their god has told them to do these things. While they've continued on with their destructive ways people have begun to form opinions on the Muslim religion based solely on what they have seen in the media about the Terrorist groups. My grandparents in particular are very old fashioned. I've heard more times than I can count "The Muslim people are such angry and hateful people." This saddens me and also, at times, enrages me. I understand that they are from a different day and age. I know that the time they were raised in was far different than ours today. However, these feelings aren't shared with just the older generations. It's currently the way many Americans feel. I can't speak for how others feel in other countries as I've only seen what's here in my homeland.
Whenever I hear people make generalized statements about the Muslim religion I pause for a second. I stop to think back and remember things I've learned about in History class, in research, on TV (I'm an avid fan of the History Channel), and books. I sit down and remember so many other events in the world's history that remind me so much of what is going on now. One that comes to mind at this very moment is England during the 1500's when there was a battle between the Protestant Church and Catholics. This battle wasn't just during the 1500's nor was it only in England. During that time though, people were burned at the stake for loving their faith so much that they refused to convert. The Catholic church pressed harder and harder killing men, women, and children.
It doesn't stop with just this instance either. Think back to early Colonial days in America. Back to the time of the first settlers all the way up until the early 1900's. Christians from all over Europe where flocking to America in hopes of a new life and the ability to practice their religion openly. It was a great time. For some. There was a small problem though. The land was already settled by Native Americans who loved their land deeply and had deep roots planted in their faith. Yet the Christians and Puritans who came to settle the land wanted to convert them and push them out of their home. When they were reluctant to do so, what happened? They killed them, went to war with them. To me, that would be a case of terrorism at it's finest. A shocking example of how 2 people so set in their religions will stop at nothing to convert the other.
There are so many more examples I could list off of people from religions going to extremes because they feel that their religion is ultimately the better one and anything different must be dissolved and converted. I'll spare you the time of listing off all the ones I can think of currently though. My point with this is that no one should judge who has a better religion. No one should push their faith or beliefs off onto another because they feel it'll save them. No one should go to the extreme in the name of their faith. However, no one should an entire religion based on the actions of a small group. If we were to do so and do so equally then there'd be practically no religion left to believe in. So love one another and be open to others beliefs and faiths. If they say that their roots are planted firmly in them, then accept that. If you don't know exactly what someones religious beliefs are, ask them. I'm sure that if they truly love their faith, they'd be happy and overjoyed to share their beliefs with you. I encourage, and even challenge, all of my readers to learn the truth behind an entire faith before passing judgement on it.
I want to discuss today the topic of extreme religious actions and how it effects people's judgement on a religion as a whole. We see so much extreme actions these days by people who believe greatly in their religion. Some feel that their god is telling them to picket funerals while others are saying their god is telling them to kill people. My biggest question in this post today is going to be, should we categorize everyone in a certain religion for the actions that a small group do in the name of that religion.
Right now the focus has been on the Muslim religion. The world has sat and watched as terrorist groups like Al Quida rain down death and destruction around the world. I can understand how people are angry at them. I am angry at them. They act in the name of Allah and the Muslim religion. They believe that their god has told them to do these things. While they've continued on with their destructive ways people have begun to form opinions on the Muslim religion based solely on what they have seen in the media about the Terrorist groups. My grandparents in particular are very old fashioned. I've heard more times than I can count "The Muslim people are such angry and hateful people." This saddens me and also, at times, enrages me. I understand that they are from a different day and age. I know that the time they were raised in was far different than ours today. However, these feelings aren't shared with just the older generations. It's currently the way many Americans feel. I can't speak for how others feel in other countries as I've only seen what's here in my homeland.
Whenever I hear people make generalized statements about the Muslim religion I pause for a second. I stop to think back and remember things I've learned about in History class, in research, on TV (I'm an avid fan of the History Channel), and books. I sit down and remember so many other events in the world's history that remind me so much of what is going on now. One that comes to mind at this very moment is England during the 1500's when there was a battle between the Protestant Church and Catholics. This battle wasn't just during the 1500's nor was it only in England. During that time though, people were burned at the stake for loving their faith so much that they refused to convert. The Catholic church pressed harder and harder killing men, women, and children.
It doesn't stop with just this instance either. Think back to early Colonial days in America. Back to the time of the first settlers all the way up until the early 1900's. Christians from all over Europe where flocking to America in hopes of a new life and the ability to practice their religion openly. It was a great time. For some. There was a small problem though. The land was already settled by Native Americans who loved their land deeply and had deep roots planted in their faith. Yet the Christians and Puritans who came to settle the land wanted to convert them and push them out of their home. When they were reluctant to do so, what happened? They killed them, went to war with them. To me, that would be a case of terrorism at it's finest. A shocking example of how 2 people so set in their religions will stop at nothing to convert the other.
There are so many more examples I could list off of people from religions going to extremes because they feel that their religion is ultimately the better one and anything different must be dissolved and converted. I'll spare you the time of listing off all the ones I can think of currently though. My point with this is that no one should judge who has a better religion. No one should push their faith or beliefs off onto another because they feel it'll save them. No one should go to the extreme in the name of their faith. However, no one should an entire religion based on the actions of a small group. If we were to do so and do so equally then there'd be practically no religion left to believe in. So love one another and be open to others beliefs and faiths. If they say that their roots are planted firmly in them, then accept that. If you don't know exactly what someones religious beliefs are, ask them. I'm sure that if they truly love their faith, they'd be happy and overjoyed to share their beliefs with you. I encourage, and even challenge, all of my readers to learn the truth behind an entire faith before passing judgement on it.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
My introduction
I guess I started this blog back in December with the intentions of blogging about pressing issues that I felt I wanted to address. I posted one and then stopped. Sad times. I have since decided to move forward with this blog and continue what I wanted to do to begin with. I got a bit ahead of myself this morning with a new topic only to realize as I sat here editing my blog to make it visually appealing that I have yet to introduce myself and my family. So let's start over and introduce you to our quaint little family!!
My name is Morgan. I'm 26 years old and hail from the great state of South Carolina. My family is originally from eastern TN and thusly my blood runs orange for the Tennessee Volunteers. I am married to not only the love of my life and what could possibly be the greatest man on earth, but my soul mate and other half. We complete each other and our love runs deep. We aren't the average couple though and are very familiar with acting a fool together. His name is Leslie and he serves in the US Navy currently aboard the USS George H W Bush. He's a plank owner and however much distaste I may have for his current superiors we love the ship and will always hold a special place in our hearts for it. He's been in 9 yrs in May and we've been a couple for 8 in August. We were married on May 28th of 2007.
In March of 2009 we were blessed to welcome a little girl into our family who's name is Arianna. We fondly refer to her as A, Boogs, Boogy, or Booger Britches. She's now a roudy 2yr old with enough attitude for several grown adults but we love her all the same! She has 2 furry older brothers DC and Caesar. Both rescue kittens and both loveable balls of fur. DC is a Main Coon and a giant loveable little man. He keeps me company on the lonely nights when my husband is away.
We currently reside in Newport News, VA but are anxiously awaiting PCS orders. Our fondest hope is to recieve orders for Goose Creek, SC which is located outside of Charleston. With the military you never really know though so we aren't holding our breath until we have orders in hand. That's about it for me and my precious family. If you ever want to know more feel free to ask. I'm pretty much an open book.
My name is Morgan. I'm 26 years old and hail from the great state of South Carolina. My family is originally from eastern TN and thusly my blood runs orange for the Tennessee Volunteers. I am married to not only the love of my life and what could possibly be the greatest man on earth, but my soul mate and other half. We complete each other and our love runs deep. We aren't the average couple though and are very familiar with acting a fool together. His name is Leslie and he serves in the US Navy currently aboard the USS George H W Bush. He's a plank owner and however much distaste I may have for his current superiors we love the ship and will always hold a special place in our hearts for it. He's been in 9 yrs in May and we've been a couple for 8 in August. We were married on May 28th of 2007.
In March of 2009 we were blessed to welcome a little girl into our family who's name is Arianna. We fondly refer to her as A, Boogs, Boogy, or Booger Britches. She's now a roudy 2yr old with enough attitude for several grown adults but we love her all the same! She has 2 furry older brothers DC and Caesar. Both rescue kittens and both loveable balls of fur. DC is a Main Coon and a giant loveable little man. He keeps me company on the lonely nights when my husband is away.
We currently reside in Newport News, VA but are anxiously awaiting PCS orders. Our fondest hope is to recieve orders for Goose Creek, SC which is located outside of Charleston. With the military you never really know though so we aren't holding our breath until we have orders in hand. That's about it for me and my precious family. If you ever want to know more feel free to ask. I'm pretty much an open book.
You choose your destiny
Yesterday I came upon a video of a mother doing something that I find unacceptable for a mother to do. Many of you may be familiar with the Teen Mom 2 "star" (I use that term loosely) Janelle. For those of you who don't take a moment now to go look her up. You won't need to type much into google to get a slew of information on her current antics. I'm well aware that she's not the first and certainly won't be the last mother to act in the ways she has.
Upon posting the video on a social networking site I'm on and discussing it with my friends I began to see that some were justifying her actions because of the way her mother treats her. These people didn't say that it was right but more of that she is the way she is because of how she was raised. I beg to differ with that point of view and thought it'd be a great topic to discuss here on my blog. The topic: Letting your past shape you vs rising above it to better yourself.
Let's start out by discussing those who allow their past/upbringing to shape them. There are many people in this world who weren't raised in a "perfect" family or home situation. There are those who didn't or don't have loving parents who supported them and pushed them to be greater. Some people allow this to shape them. They become users of alcohol or drugs, or in some cases both. They lie, cheat, steal, and an array of illegal things. They allow that past to be a crutch. Explaining away that they are who they are because their mother and/or father didn't love them enough or that they grew up poor/in a ghetto and don't know anything different. Why do these people allow their past to be a crutch? Why do they allow where they came from to define who they are today? The answer is simple. It's not easy to rise above it. The solution may appear to be something as easy as deciding one day "I won't let this define who I am or shape me. I will allow it to show me what NOT to do and become." but in all actuality following through with that mentality is much harder than you'd imagine. It takes persistence, pushing through failures to finally succeed, and a whole lot of hard work. For some, these things are far too demanding and it's much easier to simply fail and let that be the end of it. The biggest question is not why don't they, but rather why is it so easy to allow yourself to be shaped instead of setting a new mold? I believe that failing and then getting back up and trying again until you succeed is hard to do. You don't know how many times it'll take to fail at something (a class, driving, work, whatever it is) before you'll finally succeed. Failure hurts and stings like a knife. So the safest bet is to stop trying after the first failure. That way you save yourself the heartache of possibly setting yourself up for more failure. People are content to ride the easiest road and often don't think of the consequences it may have.
For every few who are content to settle for less and allow their past shape who they are/will become in the future there are those at the far end of the spectrum. Those who allow their past to serve as a mold and example of all the things NOT to do. At some point they sit down and decide that they will not allow the past to repeat it's self or shape them. Instead they decide to stand up, brush off the dust, and break the mold or chain. This isn't just for those who's parents weren't good parents. There are also those who sit and watch their parent(s) do drugs or drink and they decide they won't be that kind of person. They won't allow what and who their parents are be what they will become. There's something inside them, in the heart and head, that decides they want to be different. They want to be their own person. They think to themselves "I've been shown what NOT to do. I've seen all the things you shouldn't do and instead of doing them, I'll be rebelious and learn from that." Those people use others mistakes or misguided decisions as lessons learned. I would know, as I am one of those people. I came from a poor family with pretty epic failures in the parental department. My mother had me out of wedlock and still to this day doesn't know who my biological father is. My step-father was an abusive alcoholic. My mother surely wasn't much better. They both embodied abuse in all it's forms. Mental, emotional, and physical. I'd have to say my mother was worse with the emotional and mental and the things she'd say hurt me more. Instead of using that as a crutch and an excuse I decided to do the opposite. Maybe those who do have a rebelious spirit to begin with. Maybe that's what sets them apart from everyone else. Maybe that isn't the case in the others. Maybe those others just decide they've down right had enough and are going to live everyday striving to be different and, for the most part, better. I can't answer you as to which of those I fall into. I like to believe it's a little bit of both. A little of a rebelious spirit and wanting to do the opposite of what I was told. My mother would always tell me I'd "never amount to anything". She'd go on and on for hours about how when I became a mother I'd be horrible at it because I'm selfish and stupid.
I'm proud to say that I currently a mother to an adorable little 2yr old. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally. We live a nice life. We aren't by any means well off nor do we not know the struggles of being broke from time to time but we live well. Everyday I wake up, look in the mirror, and tell myself "YOU will be different. You will not repeat the vicious cycle and you will rise above it all triumphant." I do know that it's not easy to rise above it all. It takes a lot of falling down and having to get back up and brush yourself off. It takes a lot of heartache and I know all to well the sting of failure. So why do people like me do it? Why don't we choose the easy road and just allow ourselves to be what we came from? I can tell you that it's a burning want and desire for something better. Something bigger. Especially now that I'm a parent my desire burns more for my daughter to have something better. To know the love of her parents and the support we have for her. For her to know that she's special in every way possible and WILL succeed in life. For me it's harder to understand how someone can become a mother and still have no desire to become better. Maybe some of the questions will never be answered as to why people choose the path they do but I hope and pray that someday those who have allowed the past to shape them will decide to change. To rise above it all and become the great person they can.
Upon posting the video on a social networking site I'm on and discussing it with my friends I began to see that some were justifying her actions because of the way her mother treats her. These people didn't say that it was right but more of that she is the way she is because of how she was raised. I beg to differ with that point of view and thought it'd be a great topic to discuss here on my blog. The topic: Letting your past shape you vs rising above it to better yourself.
Let's start out by discussing those who allow their past/upbringing to shape them. There are many people in this world who weren't raised in a "perfect" family or home situation. There are those who didn't or don't have loving parents who supported them and pushed them to be greater. Some people allow this to shape them. They become users of alcohol or drugs, or in some cases both. They lie, cheat, steal, and an array of illegal things. They allow that past to be a crutch. Explaining away that they are who they are because their mother and/or father didn't love them enough or that they grew up poor/in a ghetto and don't know anything different. Why do these people allow their past to be a crutch? Why do they allow where they came from to define who they are today? The answer is simple. It's not easy to rise above it. The solution may appear to be something as easy as deciding one day "I won't let this define who I am or shape me. I will allow it to show me what NOT to do and become." but in all actuality following through with that mentality is much harder than you'd imagine. It takes persistence, pushing through failures to finally succeed, and a whole lot of hard work. For some, these things are far too demanding and it's much easier to simply fail and let that be the end of it. The biggest question is not why don't they, but rather why is it so easy to allow yourself to be shaped instead of setting a new mold? I believe that failing and then getting back up and trying again until you succeed is hard to do. You don't know how many times it'll take to fail at something (a class, driving, work, whatever it is) before you'll finally succeed. Failure hurts and stings like a knife. So the safest bet is to stop trying after the first failure. That way you save yourself the heartache of possibly setting yourself up for more failure. People are content to ride the easiest road and often don't think of the consequences it may have.
For every few who are content to settle for less and allow their past shape who they are/will become in the future there are those at the far end of the spectrum. Those who allow their past to serve as a mold and example of all the things NOT to do. At some point they sit down and decide that they will not allow the past to repeat it's self or shape them. Instead they decide to stand up, brush off the dust, and break the mold or chain. This isn't just for those who's parents weren't good parents. There are also those who sit and watch their parent(s) do drugs or drink and they decide they won't be that kind of person. They won't allow what and who their parents are be what they will become. There's something inside them, in the heart and head, that decides they want to be different. They want to be their own person. They think to themselves "I've been shown what NOT to do. I've seen all the things you shouldn't do and instead of doing them, I'll be rebelious and learn from that." Those people use others mistakes or misguided decisions as lessons learned. I would know, as I am one of those people. I came from a poor family with pretty epic failures in the parental department. My mother had me out of wedlock and still to this day doesn't know who my biological father is. My step-father was an abusive alcoholic. My mother surely wasn't much better. They both embodied abuse in all it's forms. Mental, emotional, and physical. I'd have to say my mother was worse with the emotional and mental and the things she'd say hurt me more. Instead of using that as a crutch and an excuse I decided to do the opposite. Maybe those who do have a rebelious spirit to begin with. Maybe that's what sets them apart from everyone else. Maybe that isn't the case in the others. Maybe those others just decide they've down right had enough and are going to live everyday striving to be different and, for the most part, better. I can't answer you as to which of those I fall into. I like to believe it's a little bit of both. A little of a rebelious spirit and wanting to do the opposite of what I was told. My mother would always tell me I'd "never amount to anything". She'd go on and on for hours about how when I became a mother I'd be horrible at it because I'm selfish and stupid.
I'm proud to say that I currently a mother to an adorable little 2yr old. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally. We live a nice life. We aren't by any means well off nor do we not know the struggles of being broke from time to time but we live well. Everyday I wake up, look in the mirror, and tell myself "YOU will be different. You will not repeat the vicious cycle and you will rise above it all triumphant." I do know that it's not easy to rise above it all. It takes a lot of falling down and having to get back up and brush yourself off. It takes a lot of heartache and I know all to well the sting of failure. So why do people like me do it? Why don't we choose the easy road and just allow ourselves to be what we came from? I can tell you that it's a burning want and desire for something better. Something bigger. Especially now that I'm a parent my desire burns more for my daughter to have something better. To know the love of her parents and the support we have for her. For her to know that she's special in every way possible and WILL succeed in life. For me it's harder to understand how someone can become a mother and still have no desire to become better. Maybe some of the questions will never be answered as to why people choose the path they do but I hope and pray that someday those who have allowed the past to shape them will decide to change. To rise above it all and become the great person they can.
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